7 Things They Don’t Tell You About College Life

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College is more than studying to get a diploma. Readings, homework, and requirements are only half the battle. There are things that you need to know about college that even college professors won’t teach you. Get a leg up with seven things no one told you about college life. Amidst all the college rankings that you are obliged to check in order to set your priorities or the impending tuition fees that you need to know in order to save money, there are other things you need to know about college, so be prepared.

1. You should be aware that BFFs will not be formed overnight

All bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, you are eager to make friends. Some people you meet will only be classmates, acquaintances, or report partners. Finding your close-knit group in college takes a bit of trial and error. Join student organizations and interest clubs, attend a few parties, and enjoy the variety of people you’ll meet along the way.

2. You have to get to know your professors well

Professors can make or break you, so don’t stay in the dark. Check out student forums for professor guidelines and tips. Build a professional relationship with your professors. Showing professors a good work ethic can even land you a job referral in the future.

3. You should be creative, books are expensive

A study reveals that every year, the average American college student spends up to $1,200 on books and supplies alone. Save some money on books. Borrow from the library, visit a second-hand bookstore, ask friends to lend you a copy, ask your professor if he/she has a spare book you can use, rent a digital copy, or shop online for used textbooks.

4. You have to figure it out, “required” reading can be optional

This is entirely on a case-by-case basis that you need to figure out. Generally, professors will discuss the most important points of the text in class. When you pay attention to lectures and diligently take notes, you can get away with just skimming your readings before exams.

5. You MAY skip some classes – but in moderation

College students skip classes. If you don’t plan to, good on you. But if you do, skip classes wisely. Some professors do not tolerate absences, some professors do not notice. Whether your reasons are scholarly, or otherwise, just make sure you won’t get caught.

6. Sometimes you need to isolate yourself to get things done

Distractions are everywhere. When you have a paper due in a few hours, isolation is your best bet at finishing on time. If you have references online, download them and turn off your WiFi connection. Stay in a library instead of your dorm, so you’re not tempted to take a nap.

7. You need to get enough sleep, and health is a priority.

According to the US National Library of Medicine, 50% of college students report daytime sleepiness and 70% attain insufficient sleep. Loss of sleep can mean a lower GPA, inability to concentrate, and may even cause mood swings. Drinking coffee or energy drinks to pull that all-nighter only promotes that vicious cycle. If you can’t avoid staying up, consider taking a nap. Daytime naps may offer a potential remedy that may also help academic performance.  When you’re up to your neck in coursework, it’s easy to neglect your own health and well-being. Getting sick means missing your classes, catching up with assignments, and if you missed an exam, rescheduling with your professor. No one will take care of you but yourself. Drink vitamins. Ditch the junk food. Get some exercise. Take time to relax. There will be moments when you feel like giving up. You will question if college was the right decision or if there is a point in crossing the finish line. With college dropouts like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg still finding success, leaving without a diploma doesn’t sound bad, right? However, the Pew Research Center’s report on The Rising Cost of Not Going to College, states that “on virtually every measure of economic well-being and career attainment—from personal earnings to job satisfaction to the share employed full time—college graduates are outperforming their peers with less education.” Beyond financial matters, studies also suggest that college graduates live longer and healthier lives, have stable marriages, and produce healthy children. Most graduates say their college education helped them to grow intellectually, mature as a person, and prepared them for a career and adulthood.

Featured photo credit: Scensiblesbags via scensiblesbags.com

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15 Things Introverts Don’t Do At Work That Makes Them Excel

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Raise your hand if you’re an introvert.

Introverts are everywhere (one out of every two or three people you know). And they are like icebergs. What you see on the surface is only a small percentage of their entire selves. It’s just that they don’t usually help people to see the rest of them or the strengths they bring to the work environment.

If you work with an introverted person, you’re going to have to look for the substance underneath to fully appreciate introverts have incredibly valuable input at work. Keep in mind that introversion seems to increase with intelligence so that more than 75% of people with an IQ above 160 are introverted.

Here are fifteen things introverts don’t do at work that gives them a marked edge to excel in the workplace.

1. They don’t speak before they think.

While most extroverts will interrupt you when you are trying to say something because they can’t wait for their turn to speak, introverts will take their time before opening their mouth, quietly listening and reflecting in their head instead of thinking out loud.

Joe McHugh, vice president of executive services for the Edina, Minnesota, office of Right Management Consultants explains: “Colleagues and bosses need to realize that introverts often don’t know what they think immediately, and that they need time to think things through before coming to a conclusion.” It’s critical, Joe stresses, that you “circle back to introverts after they’ve had some time to consider things.”

2. They don’t encourage endless small talk.

This is especially true when it comes to engaging with a raging extrovert because, let’s be honest, office small talk is a drain. It will put any introvert out of her element. Unlike extroverts who are energized by such interactions, introverts are exhausted and or bored by them. Introverts prefer much deeper conversations, ideally about philosophical ideas.

Sophia Dembling, author of The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World, explains that it ultimately comes down to how a person receives (or doesn’t receive) energy from his or her surroundings.

3. They don’t crave attention or the limelight.

The thing with introverts is that popularity contests aren’t their thing. They do their best work on their own and don’t really like attention. This is in stark contrast with what extroverts generally like. Extroverts tend to engage in boisterous, attention-seeking behaviors and demonstrate great enthusiasm and assertiveness in a bid to gain external recognition and or reward.

It’s no wonder introverts are often overlooked for leadership roles, even though they make the most thoughtful leaders when selected.

4. They don’t sit all day at their desk, cursing the world and shunning daylight.

Just because introverts like to be alone and don’t like small talk or being in the limelight doesn’t mean they are disheveled, anti-social misfits or loners. They don’t sit all day at their desk cursing the world and shunning daylight. Introverts sit quietly incubating new ideas and executing plans for success.

They create brilliant works of art, launch start-ups, and lead major corporations. They are happy to bring you along with them, just as long as you don’t insist on introducing a noisy crowd into their world.

5. They don’t patronize those they lead or supervise.

The reason introverts do so well in leadership positions is because they thrive by listening carefully, even to suggestions from below. It is second nature for introverted bosses to listen, appreciate and validate great ideas, and highly unlikely for them to treat those they lead condescendingly. Take Doug Conant, an introvert and former CEO of Campbell’s Soup, for example. Doug has been celebrated for writing more than 30,000 personalized thank you notes to his employees. It’s hard to imagine an extrovert doing that.

6. They generally don’t evoke negative emotions in others.

Studies suggest that extroverts feel more positive emotions than introverts due in part to the former’s larger networks. However, it turns out, extroverts don’t always cause other people to feel those same positive emotions. In fact, studies of work groups show that extroverts actually have slightly more difficult relationships with teammates and elicit more negative emotions in others compared to introverts. Many extroverts, consequently, often start out with higher status but lose it over time.

7. They don’t mind networking as extroverts when necessary.

Many introverts are friendly and sociable. They are just as comfortable networking as extroverts because their low-key demeanor is far removed from being shy. As author Susan Cain reiterated in her 2012 TED Talk titled The Power of Introverts, “Shyness is about fear of social judgment. Introversion is more about how do you respond to stimulation, including social stimulation.”

So there are many shy extroverts, who are hesitant and self-conscious when dealing with new people, but love going to rock concerts. And there are also many sociable introverts who will easily strike up a conversation with people at parties until it’s time to retire to their quieter, more laid-back and preferred environments.

8. They don’t stay silent on topics they’re passionate about.

The prevailing stereotype in many workplaces is that extroverts are charismatic and not shy of speaking, while introverts are shy and never speak up. The truth, however, is that introverts won’t speak unless they have something important to say and or are deeply passionate about a topic.

“Speaking is not an act of extroversion,” observes Malcolm Gladwell, an introverted writer who spends a lot of time on stage. “It has nothing to do with extroversion. It’s a performance, and many performers are hugely introverted.”

Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D, a certified speaking professional, concurs: “At least half of people who speak for a living are introverted in nature,” she says. “They succeed on stage – just not in the chit-chat afterwards.”

9. They don’t act rashly.

Introverts have an attitude of observance, reflection and caution. They don’t act rashly.

Instead, they pause before action and are characteristically sure and steady.

This pause, often mistaken for hesitation, gives them time to study and analyze situations so that the actions taken make the most sense in the long run. In contrast, extroverts tend to be more spontaneous and respond immediately, adapting as necessary after engagement. Acting in haste is not necessarily bad, but it is often dangerous.

10. They don’t support superficial office politics and gossip.

There are a many shallow people in our workplaces. These people knowingly or unknowingly prefer to keep things light and superficial. If you are not careful, you can easily get swept away by their endless chitchat, politics and gossip.

Fortunately for introverts, they naturally don’t enjoy small talk or empty chitchat that has no real substance, and that doesn’t go beyond the surface. Introverts just won’t give gossip the time of day, and discussing other people’s business with everyone truly isn’t in their DNA.

11. They don’t feel bored working long hours.

Introverts have an impressive ability to focus deeply on one activity. They actually enjoy (and thrive) working long hours by themselves in environments that are quiet and peaceful.

By contrast, extroverts dread being alone for extended periods of time and easily get bored doing one thing for too long. That being said, introverts are distracted and sometimes overwhelmed by crowds in loud, open office spaces.

12. They don’t mind taking on solo projects.

While extroverts love working in groups or teams and dread solo projects, introverts work well on one-to-one relationships and are naturally drawn to more creative, detail-oriented solo careers that allows them to “dive in” with few interruptions.

The latter’s ability to focus deeply on a subject and work long hours by themselves make them perfectly suited for certain professions, such as researchers, behind-the-scenes tech workers, in-the-field natural scientists and writers.

13. They don’t appreciate interruptions when working.

Introverts don’t like being interrupted until work is finished because it causes them to abandon focus or thought on the current project. Besides, most interruption by friends requires a certain level of small talk that introverts avoid.

Introverts will actually screen phone calls and let calls go to voicemail so they can return them later when they have the time and energy to dedicate to the conversation. On the other hand, many extroverts secretly enjoy being interrupted occasionally by colleagues and friends after working on one thing for an extended period of time because it breaks the silence and dispels boredom.

14. They don’t miss deadlines easily.

Tim Backes, career adviser at resumegenius.com, reveals that most introverts don’t need supervision.

That’s because they are good at processing information and planning ahead. “As long as goals and deadlines are understood, there’s no need to hover over their shoulders and micromanage,” he says.  “You’ll get the most out of an introverted employee by giving them clear expectations and a lot of space.”

15. They don’t hate people or colleagues.

Just because introverts are self-reflective and dislike being interrupted at work doesn’t mean they hate people.

Far from it; they just tend to do their best work on their own, prefer a few good friends over many acquaintances, and need to be given air time as they typically will not demand it.

Once you give them that and understand they are more reserved, you can establish a deep and fulfilling personal and professional relationship with them. And you want to be friends with introverts because, in a word, they are hard-wired for excellence in whatever field of specialty they choose at work.

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17 Things Only PhD Students Would Understand

17 Things Only PhD Students Would Understand

No mater what topic you’re researching, there are a few things that many PhD students have in common. Some good, some bad, some downright ugly. How many of these sound familiar?

1. You feel like an imposter all the time

PhDs are something that clever people do. You spend the first few months thinking you’ll start to feel like one of those clever people soon… But you’ll soon realise it never happens and you worry that on graduation day they’ll finally catch you out and refuse to award you your doctorate.

2. You worry that your students will outsmart you

If you wind up teaching undergraduates, you worry that you’ll get a super smart one who knows way more than you do. You practice ‘looking clever’ in the hope that they’ll fall for it. You’re not sure they will…

3. Sometimes you read what you’ve written and find you’re in awe of yourself

You’re constantly in awe of all those amazing academics around you – and sometimes you even find yourself in awe of you! Reading back old papers you’ve written, you find yourself nodding in agreement with the wise sage who wrote them and thinking they sound like they were written by someone really, really clever rather than little old you.

4. You are addicted to studying

You love to learn. You can’t get enough of it and find yourself wondering what you will study next when you’ve completed your PhD. You’ve been contemplating what your next academic endeavour should be since you were about two months into your PhD.

5. When your research is going well, you get so engrossed you practically forget to draw breath

Eating and sleeping don’t really happen. You don’t hear anything around you, you’re in the research zone and nothing else matters.

6. You go through nocturnal periods

You end up in weird wake–sleep cycles of staying up really late because you’re so hooked on your work, only to crash out and sleep as the rest of the world is ready to start a new day. This cycle can last for weeks at a time.

7. You dream about your research

Especially during your more intense studying periods, you think about your research all day and all night. Occasionally you make amazing discoveries in your sleep and are hugely disappointed when you wake up and discover your discoveries were all just a dream.

8. You are more likely to quote papers written by people with memorable names

When people have really complicated names that you find hard to spell or remember, you find yourself quoting them less. Consequently you find yourself worrying about how memorable your own name is and whether you should rebrand yourself to maximise your impact factor.

9. You know where all the cheapest coffee shops are

You’re living on a super skinny budget but you need coffee and you need to escape the lab or library pretty regularly or you’d grow hysterical so you head out for coffee. You know where to find the best, cheapest coffee. You don’t go anywhere without your coffee shop loyalty cards and you work your day around coffee happy hour.

10. You know exactly where all electrical outlets are located in all the cheapest coffee shops

Once you’ve arrived at your favourite coffee shop, you head straight to the seat where it’s not too noisy, there’s plenty of natural light and there’s a socket to plug in your computer. You know exactly where this perfect spot is located in at least three different coffee shops.

11. You know more than anyone in the world about one teeny tiny thing…

When it comes to your research niche you know more about it than anyone else the entire world. That’s really kind of cool.

12. …But you’re the only person who cares about that teeny tiny thing

So no one else cares about this teeny tiny niche you know inside out and upside down. You discover this every time you try to talk to anyone about it. Most people just look overwhelmed and under-excited whilst some people look outright bored.

13. You bore even yourself sometimes

You’re pretty sure that by the time you’ve finished writing your thesis, you’ll never EVER want to talk about your research topic ever again.

14. You get really excited if your research topic is even tangentially relevant in every day life

It doesn’t happen often, but the once or twice in your entire life that you feel your teeny tiny research niche is relevant to every day conversation, you feel like the king of the world.

15. Your idea of fame is being quoted in New Scientist

Or the equivalent for your subject. You dream about it happening some far off day when you’re really clever and well published and everyone is hanging off your every word. It could happen…

16. You can’t wait to be called ‘Doctor’

You’ve secretly rehearsed calling yourself doctor. You tell everyone you’re not doing a PhD for the title or credentials but rather because you are deeply passionate about your subject. But as the end draws closer you cannot wait to be called doctor and will insist that absolutely everyone uses your proper title – and rightly so. You earned it!

17. You have no idea where your life is headed

You dream of graduating but you have literally no idea what happens next. You figure that you’ll work out what you want to do when you grow up at some point, but it hasn’t happened yet.

Featured photo credit: MacBook Pro by VFS Digital Design via flickr.com

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10 Things To Remember If Your Loved Ones Suffer From Learning Disabilities

LD

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”- Scott Hamilton

Problems with learning are often caused by a learning disability (LD). We are probably more familiar with the ones which cause difficulty in reading (dyslexia) or in problems with math formulas (dyscalculia). There are many others such as having problems with interpreting symbols and maps which is a visual processing disorder and another one where interpreting sounds causes difficulty in understanding the spoken language (auditory processing disorder).

But whatever the disorder, it is essential to remember one thing: a learning disorder simply means that a person’s brain is wired differently and certain information processing takes a different route from that of the majority of the population. They may take longer but they will get there with some encouragement from you. A famous example is Erin Brockovich, the consumer advocate, who was brilliant at passing oral tests at school but could not pass the written tests. Here are 10 things to keep in mind if your loved one has a learning disability.

“There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same.”- Chinese proverb

1. They need our support

People with learning disabilities are much more likely to suffer from mental health issues than their normal peers. One report estimated that up to 36% of those with learning disabilities are likely to have problems compared with 8% of the normal population. We have to make sure that they the best possible support at home and at school. They are more likely to suffer from sort of discrimination at school and later at work and may be disadvantaged because of this problem.

2. They can get special tests at school

Once a student is recognized as having a problem with a certain ability, there are special test procedures which can make it a more level playing field when it comes to final exams. This applies to students who dropped out or who felt that the exams were far too difficult in their standard format. It is well worth it to take these tests because having a high school credential means you can earn up to $568,000 more in your lifetime.

The best known ones are the High School Equivalency exams such as the GED (General Educational Development). Depending on their disability, students taking these exams can avail of a talking calculator, large print formats, more time, use of a scribe, exams in auditory format and private facilities.

3. They need help to conquer the stigma

Having a label slapped on you, just because you learn in a rather different way, can be demoralizing. We know only too well that ignorant people call them mentally retarded and that they cannot learn anything. This leads to learners themselves trying to hide their disability and they also may suffer from low self-esteem. Unfortunately, a learning disability is also a life disability and many adults struggle with shopping lists, paying bills and budgeting, and filling out application forms. We can help by correcting ignorant people and telling them to be better informed. This is one of the great advantages of social media as we can teach people a few things!

4. They must get special educational needs

In many countries, children can avail of special educational needs (SEN) so that they can maximize their learning. Parents can support their children best by collaborating with the teachers and making sure that both parties are fully informed about problems, progress and expectations. In the UK, the scheme allows the older ones from 16 – 25 to be fully involved in deciding what their priorities and needs are so they get a more custom built learning path. A key element is encouraging kids and teens to discover new ways of approaching a learning task.

5. They need to be encouraged to vote

The recent elections in the UK were an interesting example of how the Dimensions charity was able to raise awareness about learning disabilities. For far too long, people with these disabilities were intimidated by the procedures to actually register to be able to vote. Even an online registration form can be quite challenging. In the last election, about 60% of people with learning disabilities found they could not vote because of the difficulties they had in registering. The majority (70%) of those interviewed said they definitely wanted to vote. These charities are helping people overcome the obstacles and thus empowering them to become full members of the community. They do that by organizing Easy-Read presentations and mock voting so that the whole procedure is less intimidating. Help your loved ones by going along with them to these sessions.

6. They are more likely to come from a disadvantaged background

The University of Lancaster in the UK has done a very interesting study which shows that children with learning difficulties are much more likely to have suffered domestic violence. They also found that they came from unhappy homes where conflict reigned and they were more likely to be poor. Unemployment among parents and low educational achievement were other factors which contributed to the problem. Before you judge a colleague’s performance too harshly, it might be worthwhile reflecting on their background and the enormous obstacles they faced at home and in society.

7. They are more likely to suffer from other disorders

Sometimes, a learning disability is just one condition of a wider range of disorders. For example, we know that kids who have learning disabilities are 33 times more likely to have autism and they are 8 times more likely to have ADHD. The importance of getting any of these conditions properly diagnosed cannot be stressed enough. If you have a loved one in difficulty, do not think they will grow out of it! Take action and help them.

8. They may have visual and hearing problems

Many children are wrongly diagnosed with a learning disability and/or with ADHD, when in reality they are only suffering from eyesight or hearing problems. This is one of the first things that parents should do when they suspect that there is a problem. They should have these simple tests done so that they can be ruled out or treated straightaway with visual and hearing aids. This is another practical way you can help your child or partner.

9. They may never have discovered their disability as children

Many adults never had their disability diagnosed or even properly treated and may have been unaware of what the real problem was until they entered the workplace. These problems become acute when the worker has to do a training session, give a presentation, write a report or write an error free email. Progressive organizations make sure that modified training manuals are available so that employees do not feel threatened or discriminated. Ideally, there should a department within the HR section which can deal effectively and sympathetically with these problems. At home, you can discuss what they can do and assure them of your support.

10. They may have to struggle with disclosure

According to the National Center for Learning Disabilities, 63% of those surveyed know someone who is affected by LD. The problem for many sufferers is whether to make a disclosure or not. It is not a legal requirement but there are many issues they have to consider. Will they be demoted or put on a lower pay scale? Will other workers resent the fact that a worker may receive an accommodation? It is depressing to note that disability discrimination charges are increasing all the time.

But there are solutions and many workplaces could do a lot more to help. For example, they can give dyslexic sufferers verbal instructions while those with auditory problems can receive everything in writing. Software for creating graphics, voice-recognition software, talking calculators or extra large computer screens together with large print manuals can all make a world of difference.

There is so much we can do to help our loved ones. We should be on guard to identify a possible learning disability and be there to support them when they have to make a few changes so that they can function better at school or at work.

Featured photo credit: Opportunities Fair 2012 aimed at people with learning disabilities/ Guy Evans via flickr.com

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This Is How to Make Funny Emoji Cookies

How To Decorate Emoji Cookies With Royal Icing!

This baker’s emoji cookies are the cutest things you’ll see, and hopefully nibble on, this day. Grab your baking tools and prepare yourself for cuteness overload.

Amber Spiegel, owner of Sweetambs, uploaded a YouTube video tutorial on how to decorate emoji cookies and they turned out absolutely adorable. It gained more than 300,000 views in just one week. If you can’t press send without adding an emoji and have a sweet tooth for cookies, check out the video here. Even if you’re not a fan of cutesy cookies, the way she strokes her scriber is pretty relaxing—close enough to being therapeutic.

Here’s what you need to start decorating: cookie dough, cookie cutters, icing bags, royal icing in various colors, decorating  tips, scribers, and most importantly, steady hands. For a detailed list of things you need and links where you can get them, click here.

Looks like the emojis were inspired from Apple’s popular emoticons. Amber started off with the basic blushing smiley emoji.

Apple emoji 01

blushing smiley emoji

The eye-rolling emoji looks spot on.

Apple emoji 02eye rolling emoji

This has to be my fave and what everyone probably looks like while watching the video.

Apple emoji 03

in love emoji

This shocked emoji is simply adorable.

Apple emoji 04shocked emoticon

One grinning emoji, coming up!

Apple emoji 05grinning smoji

The classic smiley emoji made scrumptious.

Apple emoji 06wide smile emoji

The “I’m cool” emoticon just got cooler.

Apple emoji 07Im cool emoji

And the infamous poop emoji or should I say chocolate ice cream swirls?

Apple emoji 08poop emoji

Which one was your favorite?

Featured photo credit: Sweetambs Emoji Cookies via sweetambs.com

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Fifteen Things Only Blunt People Understand

Image of an older brother talking to his younger brother

You’ve probably heard the expression “Be careful what you wish for,” and this is a good guiding principle to live by when dealing with a blunt person. If you want their opinion, you’ll get it. Straight from the hip and dead-center. Anyone with a reputation for being the blunt one in their family or group of friends knows that it’s alternately a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, people value your honesty; on the other, it’s a miracle you can ever tell anyone what you think because you’re often too busy chewing on your own foot. Here are fifteen things only blunt people can understand.

1. They hate long stories

If you’ve ever watched an episode of “The Golden Girls,” you’re probably familiar with Rose’s St. Olaf stories about the mule who skied backwards on buttermilk and the innumerable ways to cook herring. Inevitably one of the other girls—usually Dorothy—would interrupt to snap, “Get to the point, Rose!” Blunt people have no problem speaking their minds, so whenever someone else can’t come to the point quickly enough, they lose their patience, and they tell you pretty bluntly.

2. They apologize a lot

Bluntness can often be mistaken for rudeness or unfriendliness. When they make a less than flattering remark about a friend’s new outfit, it’s because they believe in the golden rule that friends don’t let friends leave the house wearing a skirt the color of cat vomit. The problem is that this well-meaning fashion advice isn’t taken all that well, so blunt people very often find themselves repeating “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded,” so often that they should just have it printed on a t-shirt or tattooed on their foreheads.

3. They regularly insult people

Have you ever read Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice? Do you remember Mr. Darcy’s first proposal to Elizabeth Bennet? When speaking of her irritating family relations, he could have said, “Your mother might want to learn to hold her tongue in company.” Of course, he instead had to say, “Did you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your connections? To congratulate myself on the hope of relations whose condition in life is so decidedly beneath my own?” (NO wonder she refused him). Blunt people have no problem telling you what they really think of you, even if (and often especially because) they love you and just have no clue how to get the words out. They don’t have the most control over their tongue at the best of times, so when passion overrides better judgement, you might want to invest in some serious body armor. It’s for your own protection.

4. They’re everyone’s favorite fashion consultant

You might not like it when they express distaste about your latest wardrobe choice, but that’s not going to stop you from dragging your blunt buddy to the mall when you cruise the latest sales. If you’re going to spend your entire paycheck on that new pair of jeans, it behooves you to make sure they don’t make your butt look like it deserves its own zip code. If you’d just taken your blunt friend shopping with you in the first place, you’d never have bought the cat vomit skirt.

5. They appreciate snark

If a blunt person is going to throw a verbal zinger at you, they’re going to enjoy themselves doing it. When you ask your boyfriend if he wants to see the new foreign film showing in theaters, and he knows that you know full-well that he doesn’t, why would he simply say “no thanks” when he can respond with “I’d rather inflict myself with a thousand paper cuts and take a bath in lemon juice”? This is a far more eloquent way to express both his abhorrence for the idea and his annoyance with you for even suggesting it.

6. They’re hilarious when they’re drunk

Alcohol loosens people’s tongues, so can you imagine what it does to a blunt person? Think of that hysterically funny scene from “Liar Liar” starring Jim Carrey, when his office colleagues get him to reveal what he thinks of them. They think he’s teasing them, but he absolutely means it when he says of one of his coworkers, “Simmons is old. He should have been out of the game years ago but he can’t stay home because he hates his wife.” This is the blunt person after a few martinis. They probably won’t want to know what they said the next day about someone’s new husband or the glorified slime on a shingle calling itself pizza served at a party, and fortunately for them, they’re the blunt one, not you. You’ll never have the guts to tell them.

7. Their sincerity is rare and golden

Since people usually associate bluntness with sarcasm or negativity, a blunt person’s sincere kindness is sometimes all the more treasured because when they pay a compliment, they always mean it. I’m reminded here of an episode of “Will and Grace” in which Grace is (as usual) freaking out over an upcoming date and asks Will for last-minute advice. He replies with characteristic bluntness, “Keep your shoes on at the table, eat butter with bread, and if the server asks if you want fresh pepper, don’t ask if it’s free.” After a pause he adds gently, “and you look beautiful.” Since blunt people follow a strict code of honesty, you won’t catch them giving you an insincere compliment.

8. They show affection with bluntness

It’s been said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but with a blunt person, it’s more likely to be a sarcastic comment that shows you how much they value you. This is because they know it takes a thick-skinned person to withstand their bluntness, so when you show up at a party and they say, “Did you mean to get a haircut that makes your head look like a salad bowl?” they might not love the haircut, but they definitely love you. They only say those things because they know you’re tough enough to handle it.

9. They’re really uncomfortable around crybabies

Since the blunt like to use their friends’ egos for conversational target practice, they like to peg the overly-sensitive people in the group before they sharpen their tongue. The salad bowl haircut, the cat vomit skirt, the Mr. Darcy-like snark about your obnoxious relatives—they’re all the blunt person’s way of testing you in the fire to see if you can put up with it, and if you can’t take the heat, go home. Nobody likes to walk on eggshells, especially the blunt person, who’s probably about as adept at gingerly stepping over eggshells as a tap-dancing elephant. The truth is that they’re not doing this to be inconsiderate; quite the opposite. Blunt people don’t really want to offend anyone (who doesn’t deserve it) so they might toss a tactless remark or two at you just to see how hard it lands, and they’ll back off if they see it really hurts you.

10. They’re really confrontational

This is one of the occupational hazards of hanging around a blunt person. Their brutal honesty means they have no problem picking a fight. You probably cringe every time you have a meal out with them because you never know what complaint they’re going to make about the service. You might even have crawled under the table (or at least wanted to) whenever they come out with complaints like “Are they out back plucking the chicken for my salad? If I wanted to wait this long for my fried rice I’d have applied for a passport and gone to China.” You put up with it because half the time you wind up not having to pay for your dinner. The squeaky wheel gets free food.

11. They’re always willing to give a speech about you

Your blunt best friend is going to be the first one to roast you at your 40th birthday party. At your wedding, they’re going to sprinkle their toast with stories about the time you got drunk and danced with your cardboard cutout of Leonardo DiCaprio. As I’ve said before, this is their way of showing affection. They love these stories, and they love you for giving them entertaining conversation fodder. If they really thought it would humiliate you, they’d never say any of it.

12. They say “I told you so” a lot

You probably ask blunt people for advice all the time because you know they’ll tell you the truth, whether it’s about the color of your new car or if they think your fiancé got your engagement ring from a gumball machine. You know better than to ask if you don’t want to know, so listen to them when they have the courtesy to say “I’ll tell you, but only if you really want the truth.” When you get insulted, you’ll deserve the “I told you so.” Grin and bear. You’ll get over it just in time to make the same mistake again.

13. They’re hard to communicate with over text or email

We’ve talked about the fact that blunt people tend to practice sarcasm like it’s an Olympic sport, but one of the things that makes sarcasm funny is context, specifically visual cues. If your best friend is smirking when she tells you that you’re so naive you’d probably trust the Devil with your credit card, she’s being affectionate. If she says this over text-message though and forgets the tongue-out emoticon face, the conversation might not end well. The emoticon was probably invented to diffuse the awkwardness of blunt conversations like this. When are the computer geniuses of the world going to invent a sarcasm font?

14. They always have to be introduced to new people with some type of disclaimer

Whenever you introduce the blunt person in your life to a group of friends, relatives, or colleagues who’ve never met them before, the introduction usually involves some obligatory statement along the lines of “I’m not responsible for anything she says. Especially if you give her alcohol. Her tongue is like a waterfall—a force of nature that there’s no point trying to stop.” It’s extremely important that you deliver this caveat with a healthy dose of humor and sarcasm to let others know that there’s more bark than bite to your blunt friend or partner’s remarks. This will mitigate the potential for hurt feelings later, and everyone at the company Christmas party will thank you for it.

15. They teach you to defend yourself

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but you’ll never have a bruised ego for long if you’ve spent enough time around a blunt person. The greatest advantage to knowing someone who calls it like they see it is learning to deflect harsh words with your emotional armor. Not everyone you meet is going to think you’re spectacular. We’re all vulnerable to criticism about our work, our personal quirks, our relationships, our appearances—you name it. Social scrutiny is a part of life, and if people didn’t point out our areas of weakness, we’d never grow. You can choose to crawl into a corner and lick your wounds, or you can indulge in a flair of indignation for five minutes and then get on with the rest of your life. As annoying as blunt people can be sometimes, they teach you the value of self-confidence in the face of ridicule.

Featured photo credit: Brothers giving advice via pixabay.com

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10 Things Almost Everyone Forgets to Consider When Accepting A Job Offer

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The feeling is sensational. Euphoric. There’s nothing quite like it. For a few brief moments when that outstretched hand reaches toward you, you feel invincible, important, and untouchable. You’ve just been offered a new job.

It’s easy to get caught up in this moment, nod furiously, and clasp the hand opposite in an excited fit of appreciation. Someone wants your services and is willing to pay you for them – it’s no wonder you feel a little giddy.

But what else is this person really offering you? What sort of position will this new job put you in? There are several elements you really ought to consider before accepting the offer of a new job, and listed here are 10 typical things that pretty much everyone forgets to take into account when it comes to deciding whether to add that new company to your resume.

1. Sacrifice

One of the main things that people really forget to take into account when it comes to accepting a new job is what they will realistically have to sacrifice in order to fulfil their new duties. A new role – whatever it may be – comes with new responsibilities, and it’s absolutely vital to make sure that you get a good idea of what the new position will involve and whether you can amend your social calendar accordingly. What will you have to give up in order to succeed? And is this really viable?

2. Environment

Meeting your fellow employees for the first time is always an uneasy, awkward experience. You may often feel like a spare part when you’re a newbie, and without the right people around you, you may end up feeling that way for the rest of your time in that position. Before you accept a job offer, ask to meet some of your new fellow employees. These are the people who you will be spending over forty hours a week with, so it’s absolutely essential that you’re amicable with them. Being in the wrong work environment is damaging for your career, your well-being, and even your mental health. Don’t take a leap of faith when you’re offered a new position – make a conscious effort to introduce yourself before you even accept the position. If your boss is a good one, they’ll be more than happy to let you.

3. Stability

Starting a new job isn’t much good if you end up walking out the door after a few weeks. When it comes to accepting a new position, make sure you are financially and contractually secure in every aspect. A lot of people never consider the prospect of being made redundant just a few weeks after starting their new job. After all, you’d have to be incredibly unlucky for it to happen to you, right? ‘Fraid not. There are several industries out there who are prone to making forced lay-offs, and no new job is ever 100% secure. Take the state of the current economy and financial climate into account before shaking hands, and do some independent research into the financial welfare of the firm you’re all set to become a part of. Can this company really afford you? And if so, for how long? Always make sure you’ve settled on stability before accepting a job; in writing too. Verbal contracts aren’t much use when redundancy hour rolls in.

4. Your own lifestyle changes

Okay, so everyone takes salary into account when it comes to being offered a new job. In many people’s cases, it’s the motivational factor for applying for positions that otherwise seem somewhat mundane. But what a lot of people don’t take into consideration with regards to pay is whether this is enough to live on if circumstances were to change. There’s no problem with thinking about the “now”, but before accepting a job, you need to think about the future too. Life is spectacularly unpredictable, and just weeks after accepting a job that has a perfect pay rate for you to live on as a single person, it might no longer seem like such a healthy wage if a new partner and family are lying in wait around the corner. You can’t always plan when you’re going to fall in love and have a family, but you can plan which job you’ll take so that you have some insurance cash to fall back on if things turn chaotic around the corner. Don’t settle for stable living – look at the job offer and determine whether the pay rate will be enough to get you through more financially burdening times that might lie ahead.

5. Benefits

A lot of companies offer some great looking benefits on paper, and when you’re on the verge of accepting a new job at an exciting and well-established business firm at a young age, any benefits at all seem delightfully appealing. Whilst the word “benefits” does a great job of leaping off the page at you, in reality, it’s a word that can be startlingly misleading. Benefits may be exactly what they say on the tin, but are they necessarily right for you? When accepting a job offer, make sure you’re getting the type of benefits that you deserve and need in order to live comfortably.

6. Commuting

Sure, that commute from your place to your new work location looks completely doable on paper, but have you actually put it to the test? One of the biggest mistakes people can make before accepting a job offer is merely assume that travelling to work won’t be an issue. You can’t put your whole faith in interactive maps – the journey from your home location to your new place of work is something you have to complete for yourself in order to determine how long it will actually take you. Before accepting any new job offer, be sure to practice the commute route a couple of times, ideally during rush hour, to get a realistic sense of how long it will take you to reach work every day. Long journeys to your daily job will take their toll on your health and may even put your new career in jeopardy if you’re turning up late on a regular basis.

7. Challenge

Many people consider their dream job to be getting money for sitting around with their feet up and a big ol’ glass of good wine in hand. Sounds blissful, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, the human mind wouldn’t take long to fall apart if we lived our lives like that every single day of the week. Our brains need stimulation and challenge for happiness and development, and you need to make sure that your prospective new position is going to offer you the kinds of challenges that will make you want to succeed and better yourself. It may not always feel like it, but challenge and a decent dose of hard work is actually extremely good for you. That’s why sitting around with your feet up and a big ol’ glass of good wine in hand feels so good when you actually find time for it: it’s because you’ve earned it.

8. Pride

Many people treat working as something that ought to be left at the office and never discussed outside of those four walls. But this is no way to live your life. Studies have shown that you can spend as much as 32% of your entire life at work. Ask yourself this: is it really worth having to dedicate almost a third of your total time on this planet to being bored and miserable? Before you accept a job offer, make sure it’s one that you can enjoy and be proud of. Something that you don’t mind getting up for, and something you can happily discuss without feeling nauseous.

9. Stress

Simply put: there is no perfect job on this planet. Every occupation comes with a certain degree of stress, and that’s just the way that life is. What you can do, however, is determine whether you will be able to realistically handle the amount of stress this new job might impose on your life, or whether it will leak into other areas and damage you completely. A lot of people who are offered a job that comes slapped with a warning sticker for stress usually dismiss the caution and claim they’ll be able to deal with it when the time comes. This is always a mistake. Before accepting any new job, sit down and look at what the position requires of you. Can you realistically achieve the targets set for you? Becoming wildly stressed will place a huge strain on your health as well as on your social life, so make sure that your new job is going to be something that’s both manageable and fun – not something that’s going to give you a heart attack.

10. Opportunity 

What exactly does your new job offer you in terms of opportunities? Does it provide you with some juicy substance for you resumé? Will it allow you to gain knowledge and develop within a particular industry? Can it act as a stepping stone to greater things? These are all questions that you need to take into consideration when accepting a job offer, as it’s all too easy to see a nice wage scrawled down on paper and jump right in. A good job should open you up to other opportunities.

Featured photo credit: picjumbo Viktor Hanacek via picjumbo.com

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